Category Archives: Uncategorized

Bipartisan commission rules new Obama “Forward” video is terrible

WASHINGTON – In a picture we don’t see every day, a bipartisan commission ruled today that the new Obama “Forward” music video “is one of the worst music videos ever created.” In an official statement, the commission of 5 Republicans … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Bipartisan commission rules new Obama “Forward” video is terrible

Practicing safe voting: Voter Abstinence

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Practicing safe voting: Voter Abstinence

Man dies of alcohol poisoning after first 15 minutes of Presidential debate

(NASHVILLE) A local man has reportedly died of alcohol poisoning after playing a debate drinking game in which you take a shot every time one of the candidates lies. Instead of going the traditional route of catch phrases and verbs, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Man dies of alcohol poisoning after first 15 minutes of Presidential debate

Report: Online Obituaries key asset for Obama campaign

CHICAGO – As print newspapers struggle to find readership, the Obama campaign has turned to online media to find those swing voters late in the election. One campaign volunteer stated that the only time he had used a newspaper was … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Report: Online Obituaries key asset for Obama campaign

Report: Big Bird killed Osama Bin Laden with a Chevy Volt

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Report: Big Bird killed Osama Bin Laden with a Chevy Volt

Draw Muhammad anonymously on things you don’t like very much day

WASHINGTON: An anonymous group has proposed that we all start drawing Muhammad (anonymously, they aren’t crazy) on things you dislike. To quote the anonymous person, “stop following me around.” Here are some proposals the group has proposed in a recent … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Draw Muhammad anonymously on things you don’t like very much day

President Obama addresses his “kill list” & 4th Amendment Violations

Last night President Obama gave a moving speech and addressed some pressing issues, including the economy. Surprising was his mention of his “kill list,” indefinite detainment of citizens & non-citizens, and 4th Amendment violations. Here’s what he had to say: … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on President Obama addresses his “kill list” & 4th Amendment Violations

Honey Boo Boo’s mother to address DNC, ask for free birth control, etc

CHARLOTTE – As we lead into the Democratic National Convention, we have learned that Honey Boo Boo and crew at going to address the convention pleading for Congress and the President to pass legislation that grants free access to birth … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Clint Eastwood channels Barney Frank in arguing with furniture

In 2010, Barney FrankĀ  famously debated a dining room table at a “Town Hall” meeting, turning conventional wisdom furniture had no political views on its head. Where was I going with this? Anyhow, Clint Eastwood isn’t the first person to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

BREAKING: Surprise Speaker at RNC to be Satan

While Clint Eastwood was widely expected to be the surprise guest speaker at the final night of the Republican National Convention, sources have indicated that it will actually be noted Republican and Dark Lord, Satan. Satan is expected to rally … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on BREAKING: Surprise Speaker at RNC to be Satan