Sony Pictures threatens to release Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 if demands not met

Paul-Blart-Mall-Cop-2In a retaliatory move against the North Korean regime, Sony Pictures announced today that it will unleash Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 in the Spring of 2015.

Many people had feared that such a move would forever escalate the situation and do irreparable damage to the world’s relationship with the communist regime.

“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 perfectly represents the antithesis to the communist economy” said economist Jim Schwartz. “The movie is a bad rehash of worn out ideas, that rests its entire profitability on the shoulders of Kevin James; and yet there is no doubt that it will turn a profit due to the capitalist economy giving people enough disposable income that they can blow it on horrible films. Meanwhile Kim Jung Un is lucky if he takes a piss with the lights on.”

Sony Pictures has demanded that North Korea, “chill out dude, it’s just a movie.”

At the time of writing, experts believe that Sony is already working on Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3 because “fuck it.”

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.